Derek was home early today so I decided to get up and take Kiera to school so she could make it in time for second breakfast. That’s her favorite part. We get to the school, I put the van in park, lean my chair back and start scrolling on Facebook. We had 35 minutes to wait before they’d be opening the doors. Kiera was in the back hanging out, though I cant say exactly what she was doing because, to be honest, I wasn’t really paying attention. That is when I started seeing posts, not from different news outlets but from my friends “prayers for Vegas” and other similar sentiments. After seeing the third one I took to google to figure out what had happened. ’50 dead and 200 injured in mass shooting’ headline after headline popped up. I clicked on one of the first articles and my heart sank. I immediately thought of the Pulse Night Club shooting, the devastation, all the lives that were forever changed, and how it was happening all over again. A different
shooter, different reasons, different people but the same devastation. The same gut wrenching calls that were made then, would be made again, families torn a part. People would be losing their brothers, sisters, mothers, aunts, uncles, friends. People are losing people, forever. This isn’t the first time, this wont be the last time and it hits me hard.
I’m sitting there, trying to hold back tears, and Kiera notices. I wipe them away, and invite her to the front with me, I pushed my seat back and held onto her like she was a baby, because she is my baby and I cried. I cried because the world does not care that she’s my baby. The world does not care, that this girl loves with everything in her heart, that shes the kind of person who was being pushed around at school and told me “mom, he’s probably just having a bad day”. The world does not care. And every second she gets older, her world gets bigger and I can’t just wipe away tears and pretend like nothing has happened. I have three kids and a husband that I love with every part of my soul, who I would do anything for, and that’s who people lost last night. That’s who people were laying on top of trying to protect, that’s who people were trying to stay alive for. How do you prepare your children for that? How do you explain to children that there are people in this world that wouldn’t think twice about hurting them, about hurting the people they love? That is our reality, that is the world we live in now and tomorrow.
I can’t change the world, I can’t make the world love faces they’ve never met before. I cannot protect my kids from everything, and that’s every parents worst fear realized. But I can try to send them out into the world with caring hearts, listening ears, and mouths that do not stop when they see something happening. Kids that speak up for those who need it, who not only protect themselves but others as well and I can do that by setting an example, by being that example for them. Teaching them to love, in a world that has so much hate. We have to do better, we have to go beyond hashtags, and profile pictures and be that example for those around us. For the small ones watching us, for our families, for our neighbors, for every stranger we walk by because we are walking this world together.
And sadly no, that’s not gonna stop bad things from happening. Bad things will always happen but we have a choice every day to prove to people that the world can care. That we can care for each other and maybe just maybe that will at least make our journey here a little less frightening, when we realize, when we really live each day, knowing that we are all in this together. My heart is with Vegas, and my heart is with the world.
*This was originally posted on my Facebook page.